Just a thought...

"The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, red lights called enemies, caution lights called family, and you will have flats called jobs. But if you have a spare called determination, an engine called perserverance, insurance called faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called success."

April posted this quote on our Co-Diva thread this morning.  This one really spoke to me.  As I'm nearing what would have been the day of my first show, I keep thinking "what ifs".  I need to let it go and focus on what I can do for Oct & Nov. (and beyond).

So on that note, I leave ya with a cutie pic of my pup!  

Lets talk about the Monster Mash!

Well, my new show is on the horizon.  The NPC Monster Mash set for Oct 25th.  I'm offically 7.5 weeks out!  Here we go again!  I have a new WO plan, its structured different than anything I've ever did, but golly was it a great WO.  I was sweatin' everywhere!  ha   So yesterday was sort a big moment for me.  As I've leaned out all summer long, I've actually started to where shorts.  But NEVER to the gym.  Well yesterday I DID!  At first when I got there I was feeling pretty self conscious, but then the WO kinda got all my attention!  I must not have looked to bad, as I had 3 guys talk me to chat (hmmm, thats new).  I must not have been wearing my "don't f with me look"  LOL!

I'm now an official member of Julie's Team Fitbody.  Pretty excited by that!  We had our first team meeting last Sat.  Everyone was pretty reserved.  Dunno if it was insecurities or what.  Tension hit a high point during our posing class.  I know I have more work to do, but I will get there!  I was feeling a little low after the meeting, old self doubts popped up.  I need to learn to NOT compare myself to others.  

Did I mention I get carbs again!  2x a day!  And I made a new Ultra Size recipe.  It kinda taste like a muffin (since I use a silicon muffin pan).  hmmmm.... yummy!

Evaluation & Changes

I'm back from seeing the Julie, and she really likes my progress and shape, and that I'm maintaing if not gaining some muscle while carb cycling.

But after a long talk, weighing the options and talking about my long term goals, we've decided for me to pull out of the OCB Sept show. My ultimate goal is to compete NPC and qualify for nationals (top 5) in my class, and I have 2 big NPC shows I'm doing this fall. And I'm looking at what I need to do and be to become very competitive next year.

So doing a mad crazy prep to just get on A stage (not at my possible best) just doesn't make sense. So I'm gonna wait and take a very competetive package to the NPC Monster Mash Oct 25.

I'm a little sad to miss this show in Indy, since it was the one that I've been working towards.  But to be honest, I was doing it more to get onto a stage then to compete in OCB.  Money wise it doesn't make since either (travel, tan, comp cost, organizations fees, etc).

So instead, that weekend I'll be doing Julie's comp prep.  Which is more in lines with getting me to be the best I can for fall and beyond.

Carb cycling is done for now.  New WO & diet plans are in hand.  I need to keep the fire going to rock the stage in Oct.  

Cravings are hanging in there.  I'm supposed to have a work dinner Wen evening, and I'm tempted to ask Julie for a cheat meal.  hmm....

3.5 Weeks Out!

ACK!  The time is closing fast, and I just wanna put it all on pause.  I had hopes that my body would be further along at this point.  I'm making steady loses in the weight department so thats something.

Last week was the worst WO week I've had yet.  Just no energy and no spark at all.  I kinda lost my "push".  And the moodiness...............  holly cow.  I was a one woman circus act, with the calm and then *BAM* I would go to pee-d off in like 2 nano-seconds.  I finally hit my mental wall on Sunday, while eating my chicken and veggies, and the water works started.  So I was crying into my chicken... "SO WRONG"!  And you think chicken sucks normally, add some tears.  BLECK!  But I ate it.  While wishing it was something else.  LOL!

Thankfully I'm feeling better this week.  Ready to make it happen and see what I can do my show time.

I see Julie on Monday and then I'll know for sure if the show is a "no" or a "go".

5 weeks out!

ACK!  OMG!  EEEK!  Holy crap! 

I'm 5 weeks out!  Where they heck has time gone?  So I hoped my bootie on the scale this am.  I'm down 2 lbs.  Yippie!  Which is pretty much my goal, clear up until comp.   Here is a back pic.  Not sure if one lat isn't popping or just the light.

I'm a little worried still about leaning out, but I'm getting there and pushing on.  Kinda in the groove so to speak.

Here is a pic from the photo shoot we did at Julie's bootcamp.  I had so much fun.   This pic is from July, and I can see changes from then to now.  So thats a good sign!

Some changes

Some leaning out in my shoulders and arms.  Skin a little loose and jiggly, so more changes coming soon.

6 weeks out.... OCB Natural Indiana

Well... my first show is fast approaching!  Holy Cow!  I had stats checked with Julie this am.  So here is how I done:

• -4.5 lbs
• -1% BF 
• pinches down in all areas (especially in my abs)

While I would have loved to see more BF gone, I still need to be proud of the scale weight and general fat loss.  For some darn reason I focus in on the BF %.  Julie had to remind me, that its just a number and know one knows what your % is on comp day.  Its more of how you look.  I have noticed more changes everyday actually.

So... I was given a cheat meal.  And one would think it would be simple, just take a cheat meal.  I had a whole mental debate if I should/shouldn't take it.  And if I did when.  Well.... I decided to take it today (on my day off, and my carb up day).  I waited until evening and had 1/2 personal pan pizza, 3 bread sticks with sauce, salad, and a piece of white cake (let behind most of the icing).  Well, normally I would woof down everything in front of me cause I never know when I'll get to cheat again.  This time, after a few bites I was over it.  I ate enough to get a taste of something I haven't had in a long time.  And then I was done.  And the best part, I didn't have that "I'm gonna explode" feeling.  And when I was done, I went straight to the gym for my WO.

So my conclusions:  I like the happiness of seeing results from my hard work MORE than the taste of "cheat" foods.